


15 Step

by 7Threes



Series: Jigsaw Falling Into Place [8]
Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Depression, ESP, Existential, Fix-It of Sorts, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Mental Health Issues, Other, Persona 1 and 2 who?, Persona 5 Protagonist is from Inaba, Poetry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, RSD | Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Radiohead, References to De-Loused In The Comatorium, Serious Retconning, Slow Burn, So many sick rhymes, Songfic, Sort of post-canon, Spoilers, System Of A Down - Freeform, The Dear Hunter - Freeform, The Mars Volta, Time-Loop AU, Trippy, except it's wack as all hell, if the velvet room is so good why isn't there a velvet room 2, now introducing the velvet room 2, the Big Sad, welcome to hell - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7Threes/pseuds/7Threes
Summary: Part 8 of many to a series attributed under the name “Jigsaw Falling Into Place”, not to be confused with the work that will occur later on. Check the collection description for more details on the series as a whole.Akira is from Inaba AU, Time-Loop AU, Major Canon Divergence. Updates to the series biweekly.Akira frets over his memories of the recurring year, then enters a stranger place than the Velvet Room.





	15 Step

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for not uploading yesterday, I had rehearsals with my band! Finals got me wacked up, too.
> 
> Discretion is advised, this is worse than the last part in terms of trippiness.

_Kurusu_   


 

The night was slow, in the attic room. It always was. This night in particular, he felt crushed under the darkness - the smirks on the walls of his cage, the realities of alternates - guillotine repetitions, whispers in the twilight of his lens reminiscent of rewind caresses; damned to relive and repeat this year, unending as the exhale of vents - the expansion of the universe. Probability impossible, escape from his grasp into nothingness, the tongues his mind spoke in whirled around convention just as he - to kill a god, to kill formality, death to the conventional and rebirth to the acceptable. A phoenix god, rivaled by one unyielding. The only way out was to relent, which was against the innate nature of him.

 

Recall did he of the deaths before his eyes, the future tattooed to his flesh of gray and white - recollection and foreboding.

 

With the disappearance of his scars did not alleviate the cuffs he always felt, nor the hole in his brain. Not the bruises or death wounds, the burning, freezing, shocking, cursing - an absent contusion of phantom property, just as the ghosts of the past he when he mourned the ghosts and glass - the desired terminal, where one flies and also where one dies. In the color red he always saw the blood of himself, his friends - the gun pointed at his head. He feared the boy who rested on the couch, for his harmless rest may appear to be, Akira found his wrath to be unrelenting even at dusk hibernation; Akechi was a snake who corroded everything in his slithering and conniving path.

 

This time was different, though - Akechi had revealed his weakness, said something new. In his mind, Akira knew it to be true that while Yaldabaoth was a phoenix god, the flames of his wings scorched the very strings that controlled the world. The controlled reality had been derailed, and the world resumed its typical chaos.

 

Akira had even been allowed to get with Ryuji, which he recalled always yearning for, but unable to attain.

  
  


This reality was different.

  
  


Akira wanted to save Akechi, because he knew the detective ultimately wanted the same things. He reasoned that he’d try and push the other onto a path of good.

 

He was surprised by the revelation that he suffered from some sort of disease that would kill him. Akira had an idea of what it was since Akechi described the symptoms, but there was room for further conclusions to be made.

 

If it weren’t for Satanael and Arsene, Akira wasn’t sure if he would even remember that he was stuck in a loop.

 

He grabbed his phone in idle thought, as he recalled Yu’s words about reality repeating.

  
  


_ “Keep it together, Yu. This has all happened before, it’s okay if they don’t remember. This time it’ll end, you just gotta get through it.” _

  
  


Akira found himself calling Yu against his will, but he felt that it was fine since he could just leave a voicemail. As the other side of the line rung, he made his way to the bathroom as to not disturb Akechi’s sleep by talking, but was surprised when he got an answer.

 

_ “Aki-kun, what’s up? I haven’t heard from you in over three months.” _

  
  


_ Of course he wouldn’t find it weird that I called at 1AM, of fucking course. _

  
  


“Can we talk about something? It’s sort of important, and I think I might get now what you were talking about with the others, like the  _ ‘other world’  _ and stuff.”

  
  


_ “Did you take drugs?” _

  
  


“No, you fucking  _ spoon _ , I’m talking about the  _ Metaverse _ .”

  
  


_ “Metaverse? Never heard of it.” _

  
  


“Gah!” Akira almost shouted in frustration, but covered his mouth to keep minimal noise, “Like, you guys were always talking about stuff related to Jungian psychology.” he really didn’t want to sound insane if Yu was the wrong person to call.

  
  


_ “Yeah, sort of. You take psych now, right?” _

  
  


“Yes but that’s  _ not the point.” Either this motherfucker is dense as hell, or he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.  _ “Personas and Shadows, ‘ _ awaken _ ’ in the ‘ _ other world _ ’, and ‘ _ true self _ ’!”

  
  


The other side of the line went silent momentarily, as if Yu was weighing how to respond.

  
  


_ “I hoped that this wouldn’t be the case with you.”  _ he admitted while he sighed,  _ “You throw yourself into life and death situations all the time, don’t you? Who’s the one pulling you around?” _

  
  


Akira wasn’t sure he understood, “... Igor?”

  
  


A held breath could be heard on Yu’s side, as if he was startled or upset.

 

_ “Shit, not you too.” _

  
  


“What do you mean?”

  
  


_ “You’re ‘The Fool’, aren’t you? You’re destined to take down some sort of malevolent being, whether it be the incarnation of death or some fog deities.” _

  
  


“I know that already.” Akira grit his teeth in frustration at himself for being inadequate to save the world all of those previous times.

  
  


Realization hit the older man, it dawned on him with a gasp.  _ “Oh… How many times have you repeated?” _

  
  


“Two… Three…” Akira trailed, counting on his fingers every time he’s died, someone else died, he was caught, “Three hundred eighty-seven times, at least…”

 

_ “That isn’t good… Just what are you up against that puts you into so much danger?” _

  
  


“It’s how the Phantom Thieves change hearts. They go into the other world, infiltrate the corrupt hearts of Shadows, and steal the catalyst for their corruption. They admit their crimes, but that hurts a lot of shady people in power. They’re piss mad.”

  
  


Yu sighed,  _ “Look what you’ve gotten yourself into. This certainly is bigger than anything we’ve gone up against…” _

  
  


“Are your group of friends also Persona-users?”

  
  


_ “... Perhaps.”  _ Yu restrained a straight answer,  _ “My best advice for you is to keep going. Don’t give up.” _

 

“No shit,” Akira rolled his eyes, “But what does it mean when reality has changed? Like, some things don’t happen like they have before.”

  
  


_ “Oh? Like how?” _

  
  


“Say I may or may not have a guy who tries to shoot me in the head on almost every single timeline open up to me about his mental deterioration and asks me to help him.”

  
  


_ “Okay, that wasn’t what I expected.”  _ Yu answered,  _ “It might just be a conclusion. Time kept repeating until something drastically different happened, and the year finally ended.” _

  
  


_ Okay, this is good. _

  
  


_ “So go get some sleep, Aki-kun. Oh, and Yosuke says ‘hi’.” _

 

“Tell Yosuke he’s gotta stop mailing me that shit every week, Boss picked up one of the packages and asked if they were mine; joke’s not funny anymore. And goodnight, Yu-onii, don’t keep Yosuke with blue balls.”

 

_ “Wh-“ _

_ …*beep*... _

 

Akira hung up the phone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_ Narukami _

 

“How did he  _ know?”  _ Yosuke flushed with a combination of embarrassment and exasperation.

 

Yu shrugged, “He also says to stop sending him hentai, Sojiro-san picked up one of the packages.”

 

“Well, what am I supposed to send him  _ now?” _

 

“He’s a Persona-user. Send him some of our old gear, so that he might make use of it.”

 

Yosuke sputtered in surprise.

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

_ Kurusu _

  
  
  


Akira sighed as he lay himself to rest, encased in the coffin of his blankets, but they weighed like the fabric of fate and time - red thread woven into blackness like the capillaries of Mementos into the Depths, he recalled.

 

As he closed his eyes, it became apparent that the stars behind them that gleamed as blemishes to the abyss were products of a dream, he rested on a clean field of verdant green, the incline faced towards a river - rested in the Floodplain of his home. The world breathed around him, the thin drape of breeze reflected a comfortable humidity - the world smelled of home, he experienced a simplicity unknown to his mind in the repeated year, the 387 years he recycled his time. The craving of his Liberosis was fulfilled, mere seconds of nothingness as the weight of his body sunk him into the morning-dew grass.

 

The stars looked back, the whispers of them and imprints of mankind, without shape or age they truly did make, there was no belt of Orion, or Cygnus, no Zodiac to kill the holes in a hollowed-out universe, their sporadic nature. They left him, as his worries, in rain unto sterling-clear blackened ice, the page of asphalt cushions that jaggedly pressed to his back. The sky was the same, but he was in the dead of the city. Buildings stretched to touch the sky, extended to the stars, but never reached the absences of absence, the beacons of another. The sky wept, but it was without clouds, the rain translucent red that seemed to be the tears of gods, the weep of the stars.

 

The flood carried him, up his buoyant body went absent of clothing to wrap and hide the phantom pain scars of his body. The ache and throb of the contused flesh did not interrupt this lucid wake, the ascendant flow towards the lights, a star grew in size and thusly a luminous limb stretched from the white, reached for Akira, and pulled him into the brightness of the star. He was left in a stark plain, unending and without shadow aside from his very own, of his naked body,  _ no,  _ the mere husk made hollow to hold the identities of others. A voice came out of the nothing, an anthropomorphic white being.

 

_ “Tremulant is I. Do not ask why, but I speak in rhymes. From all the other times, the query will find your face and your mind, and purge them for nine, cursed pay to fine.” _

 

This, he had never seen. Not even Yaldabaoth compared to the enigma of what the hell this thing was.

 

_ “Invoked to be by the illusory Loki, brought forth me, a projection for thee. I am the recognition in your work, the rendition of your smirk - collective cognition - and your recollection. In the crow’s mind his memories are suppressed, haunted by phantom pains his skin has impressed - as you have, too, it is your responsibility to do; recall its name despite never hearing, the spirit in you both he and god are fearing.” _

  
  


“So Goro’s Persona asked me to…”

  
  


_ “Provide him where assistance is due, as resistance has resistance do; the mausoleum of his heart shrouded in bottle, did he store his burn in this coddle. ‘Plague upon your hissing children’, invoke the wrath, become a villain. You remember this misfortune, three hundred eighty-seven-fold tune. This time shall not repeat, save him this last feat.” _

 

Akira turned his head back to meet where the entity pointed, several different ‘ _ hims _ ’ stood in the room with his same scars, but some with less. The entity stepped beside him.

 

_ “Tremulant hails my name, for shaken this world became; when I stepped into the minds of life, where primal unknowns were rife. The wet of your tongue and the weight of your lung, self-knowing as a hypothalamus - projection of the world’s state, callous. In the many Fools, I have changed - the perception pools rearranged. My state is brighter than the first year, my power greater against fear; the uncertainty of succession and the willingness of oppression in the hearts of men, who would put themselves in a pen. The recurring freedom of your heart has changed the world from the start. The god’s hold has shaken from me, and the conclusion will very soon come to be.” _

 

Akira was confused, “Isn’t Mementos supposed to be the collective unconscious?”

 

_ “The wake of my feet, the tick of his seat; usurped the domain as he did for the Nose, that’s how rampant desire goes - it arrogates and overthrows. ‘Resignation is my virtue; like water I ebb and flow. Defeat is simply the addition of time to a sentence I never deserved, but you imposed.’  _

 

_ “In the third slip of my speak, quoting another amalgam of the meek, I will hint you to the name you seek. Buried under ESP as you would deem, an apparatus yields the title it seems. From anthills to ashes, slithered out a revenant that gnashes; his teeth returned but his mind had turned. Purge the acid and loathing, for bullet linguistics shall be loading, their words of poison to you as cyanide flirting, ‘Facilis descensus Averni’.  _

 

_ “For to him you are chosen of Tarant, and by me I urge you as Tremulant - it is over when I sing, despite the burdens tiring. Search the empty vessel of not sound, but of the lanterns that you found.” _

 

“So you want me to do the best that I can for Goro because the world won’t reset again, isn’t that right?” Akira asked, still processing the strange speak of the thing before him.

 

_ “Aye, as birds fly.” _

 

Akira nodded back, and then turned to the many versions of himself, unable to be bewildered due to the lofty and convoluted nature of the dream at that point.

 

“You’ve got this.” one of the Akiras smirked, which then prompted the crowd to do a bunch of approving nods, smirks, and sometimes a combination of both.

 

_ No wonder why people say I’m deadpan. A crowd of cool-headed encouragers just makes me feel more nervous. _

 

He then turned back to Tremulant after the entity did something that sounded like clearing its throat, but having 7.5 billion voices do it just sounded strange and oddly terrifying.

 

_ “The expel of nine, fourteen, seven, nine - Temperance, Chariot, Hermit, as grandfather, name, heaven; maw on the rims of perfection, its perception, takes into the heart like an infection, contagion that doublespeaks in capillary creeks. The query brought forth this plague unto terms only so vague, erases identity - the fate of so many. You are comatose in this illusion, not to cause confusion - your brain does not rest but your body resets. Apologies for the alarm, but you have no harm; you failed to question my uncontrollable nature, which has made you a fine creature.” _

 

“Do you think I’d really judge you for that? I’m dating a  _ guy _ , I don’t really care if you speak in rhymes or not.” the Phantom Thief shrugged, prompting the amalgam to do a horrifying 7.5 billion-person  _ laugh _ .

 

_ “Be that as it may, I always yearn this day. As an incarnation of humankind, it always leaves me surprised when one is kind. I am the cruelty of human beings as well, a thought on of which I must dwell. Like the Velvet Room is the state of the heart, I’m the conglomeration of every part. _

 

_ “In Qliphoth-projected phlegmming, upon the trenches of your thinking, this invoked dream in the mares of your mind, I do enjoy this find - begone of this illusion unto you, return to your yearnings in the earnings acknowledged by this plague, unto the clean waters of your own wake.” _

 

Before Akira could respond, an arm from the bottom of the white plain grabbed his ankle and pulled him down, and then he splashed into the dark night waters of the Samegawa Floodplain, home.

  
  
  


The one who pulled him down was Yu, but he seemed different. There was something about the air around him than the usual projections in Akira’s dreams, especially one this clear where he could choose it to be lucid, but he generally didn’t since his dreams often told him of many important things.

 

“I didn’t expect you’d be here, too.” Yu let out a breath, “It’s weird, isn’t it? Last time this dream happened, Marie-“

 

“Yu-onii. You… Are you dreaming my dream?”

 

Yu laughed, “No, Aki-kun. Tremulant-sama must’ve told you, but this is where our minds go for consultation above the level of the Velvet Room. Where the Velvet Room is between mind and matter, this place between life and death.”

 

“What? No! He didn’t!” Akira almost pulled out his hair, “Am I going to die?”

 

“No,” Yu snorted, “one of your Personas must’ve excreted something to make you comatose, or someone else’s might’ve. Depends on how strong an influence the Persona has on minds.”

 

“The… The white thing said it was Loki, Goro’s Persona.” Akira answered, “So no  _ shit  _ it works on minds.”

 

“Its name is  _ Tremulant _ , it should’ve told you. It’s something like a god, but different from Nyx, Yaldabaoth, Ameno-Sagiri, or Izanami. It’s everything incarnate, in a way, so you should at least respect it.” Yu crossed his arms in faux disapproval, “I guess I was sent here to tell you about this place. When the Velvet Room is compromised, we’re sent here instead - since I no longer have access to it, I sort of have to be here. I guess you can’t be there for other reasons?”

 

“The malevolent god that I’m up against is under the guise of Igor, I can’t really.” Akira shrugged.

 

“So no wonder Tremulant-sama has been irritated as of late - I guess one of its domains have been taken again?”

 

“You know, just the entirety of human cognition.”

 

“Oh, that is pretty bad. Guess it’s doing another pull of divine intervention. But where is Igor, then?”

 

“Probably trapped in the world - Mementos - like the Velvet Room currently is… I at least  _ think  _ that’s how it is. I haven’t really dreamt that far ahead.”

 

“Poor Igor, he’s going to get reprimanded for letting the cognitive world go rampant again. You’d think Tremulant-sama would have invoked more safeguards on it.” Yu sighed.

 

“I don’t know,” Akira thought, “but I think it might be Tremulant’s will that things go rampant. It told me something along the lines of  _ ‘I am the cruelty of humanity, I know of the horrors of mankind. It’s surprising and refreshing to meet one who is nice’,  _ or something like that. It might be seeking to better humanity by cultivating great leaders.”

 

“Of course, it’d have to rhyme.” Yu said, and they both snickered. “Okay, let’s get out of the water. We can  _ talk _ more about this place when you can  _ see  _ more.”

 

Akira nodded as he followed Yu onto the Floodplain, and he awed at the surreal surroundings - the great white plain that he came from was a giant sphere above their heads in the center of this formation, the sky surrounding them was entirely made of stars and nothingness. The two Fools were on a rendered island of land that floated in the dark emptiness, water flowed in from nowhere and out off the edge into the abyss. There were other islands of floating earth, Akira realized - he recognized a handful of them. Scenes like a partially formed Leblanc attic room, and then there was the partially rendered rooftop of Shujin where the rest of the building was absent, and there was even the interrogation room - which made him shiver.

 

“This place is known as the Domain. That plain up there is called the Sclera. The Domain is a compilation of all information that exists in the perceived universe, and it’s attended by different classes of beings. The Reaper is one of them - a Reckoner that clears anomalous things from the cognitive world.” Yu explained, pointed towards the faceless humanoid figures of pale white skin that glided on malformed limbs through space.

 

“How do you know all of this, Yu-onii?” the Phantom Thief asked the investigator, which prompted him to laugh.

 

“I’ve almost died a  _ lot _ . One time, Yosuke has me ride on the back of his motorcycle-  _ not a scooter this time _ , and we-“

 

“Okay, okay. I got it.” he stopped the older Fool because he knew Yu would go on a tangent, “Why does this place  _ look _ this way, though?”

 

“I guess it just means a majority of humans perceive the world as falling apart, an emptiness. The excess in Reckoners here are foreboding, too.” Yu hummed, “In particular, I haven’t really seen any Seekers or Architects since I arrived.”

 

“I think it might be that humanity desires death.” Akira muttered darkly, the statement startling Yu.

 

“Definitely not! We proved last time to Adachi-san-“ Yu stopped when he saw the look on Akira’s face, the tiredness.

 

“I guess he might’ve been right. People are only troubled with living,” the raven-haired thief told his predecessor, “but that doesn’t mean  _ we’ll  _ give up. It may be selfish of us, but we can do it.”

 

Yu smiled at Akira and placed his warm hand on his shoulder, “Good luck, Akira.”

 

The world then faded to the brightness of the morning, an unwelcomed beam struck his eyes as day broke into the flesh - reality was real, the warmth of the sunlight upon his skin apparent after the cold of his extremities subsided, his undead body revived in the wake of day.

 

_ “Are you such a dreamer - In a deep, deep sleep, - I am born again.” _

 

He groaned at the voice in his mind, his body already felt restrained by the clothes and sheets that buried his skin, the lack of extraterrestrial breeze against the follicles that dotted the plains of his body.

 

Before his face, the worried adversary -  _ Akechi Goro  _ \- blocked his tunnel vision to his goal, until he found it as the object of his improvement.

 

“Good  _ fuck, Akira!”  _ Akechi breathed, “I-I couldn’t feel your pulse, a-and you went cold. I thought you-“

 

“I’m,” Akira swallowed down the phlegm in his throat  _ definitely not _ , “okay, Goro. Where’s Morgana?”

 

He watched as Akechi’s face vaguely implied hurt, but then answered, “He slept downstairs.”

 

“ _ What?”  _ Akira scratched his head, “He’s not allowed to do that- and he normally  _ doesn’t.” _

 

He was only partially relieved when he realized it was a Sunday, since he would’ve been late to school - but felt sick at the thought of keeping Akechi around.

 

“Hey, so, um…” he frowned to himself, “Sorry for being a bit short. I’m just… Well, I didn’t get any  _ actual  _ rest.”

 

“Can’t say I don’t know what that’s like.” the detective commented, still a bit shaken up, “Take care of yourself, alright?”

 

“I feel like you’re not one to be telling me that.” he muttered.

 

Akechi laughed sadly in response, hollow in his rasp, “Sorry to disappoint.”

 

“No, no. You’re good.” Akira shook his hands in front of his face, “You’re… Okay. I guess I just had another strange dream, this time I think it was because of  _ you _ .”

 

“How so?” the detective tilted his brow in question.

 

“Goro, do you…”  _ no, I can’t ask him. It’ll be suspicious… I have to.  _ He swallowed, “...Do your voices  _ do  _ anything? Or do they just talk?”

 

Akechi’s face fell, and Akira began to panic. Akira knew for a fact that his Personas altered something in his brain, as Satanael was powerful enough to alter the world surrounding him - he became more lucky, his actions deviated more and more, and he dared to defy; not for lack of fear, but because the fear  _ drove  _ him. And he  _ knew  _ asking about it would be a risk, he  _ knew  _ it would jeopardize everything they had-

 

_ “Yes,”  _ Akechi answered and watched Akira’s face become strangely relieved, waited for Akira’s approval to continue, “It’s part of me, and it’s the reason my mind is deteriorating. I’m not… one for superstition… but this  _ thing  _ afflicts me with illusions and poisons in my own body. Not so much of a cancer, just…”

 

“...a projection of yourself.” Akira finished the detective’s sentence, much to his surprise, “I have these parts of me, and they tell me about the past, present and future. They’ve also done something to my head, sometimes I wonder if it’s for the better, but they make me remember the things of previous.”

 

A rampant voice echoed in Akira’s head, he knew it to be Satan.

 

_ “My tapeworm tells me where to go.” _

 

He sighed in response, much to Akechi’s confusion before the detective prince spoke, “I guess the wills of your voices are more benign than mine. It was born out of my ambition… and self-loathing. It fires me into uncontrollable ability, but with it burns away parts of myself.”

 

The attic fell into silence, and Akira was actually grateful that Morgana wasn’t there to hear it. It was only broken by a buzz from Ryuji sending him a text.

 

**Ryu❤️: Hey Akira, do you want to head out today?**

 

He looked up to Akechi for approval, who shook his head, “Don’t let me get in the way of hanging out with your friends! You still haven’t asked Boss about helping me out.”

 

Akira wanted to protest, but relented.  _ If Loki invoked a coma in me just so I’d talk to Tremulant, then he must’ve had some sort of ‘change of heart’, right? _ “Yeah, I’ll let you go, for  _ now _ .”

 

“I’m not sure to think if that sounds promising, or terrifying.” Akechi gave an unsettled smile.

 

Akira only bitterly laughed in reply.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on my social media for updates on the progress on JFIP!
> 
> I'm barely on Tumblr, I'm more frequently on Twitter & Discord if you want to contact me. Love you guys <3
> 
> Twitter: @diivizkrah
> 
> Tumblr: 7Threes (7Threes/Elak Kval)
> 
> Discord: Uncle Markus#4470
> 
> Snapchat: diivizkrah
> 
> Xbox (lol): Elak Kval


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